Every step on the inner path, however seemingly small, Ann K Gryczan Recently I heard a talk on geopolitical dynamics, and at one point, the speaker used his marriage as an analogy. He said his wife was good at making concessions and he was good at pushing for them – and so the marriage worked. How bleak, I thought. That would be like never getting to go home. But judging from what I hear in the changing-room at yoga, playing out one or the other side of that dynamic in a marriage is not all that uncommon! True Love Here is how it is at my house: I do everything I can to make my husband happy, to help him fulfill his goals and make his life easier – even if he doesn’t know I have done it. And he does the same for me. Shouldn’t marriage be like that? Like getting to move in with your very best friend? Your true love? Shouldn’t it be a place you know you can relax and be safe? Where you know your friend has your back? It is like that once the marriage has turned to gold – but almost every marriage starts out with at least some lead. Marriage is a container and upon entering it you and your beloved begin the alchemical process of turning that lead to gold. The Real Agreements This is where most of us get tripped up in marriage, especially in the beginning. The alchemy starts with the unconscious agreement we make with our beloved that comes due when we say “I do.” Do you know about that agreement? It can be easy to miss since it is unconscious, so here is how it works:
Essentially what we’re doing is putting on the table everything that is not love or is in the way of love. That is the lead.
Marriage Tips Right now, if you are married, you might feel there is at least some lead in the relationship – that all is not gold. So here are some ground rules as you go through this powerful process. Following these rules will help you not get stuck in the lead for too long (or forever).
Not Married? Marriage is special in the way that it intensifies the alchemy of life. Because just being in life is also alchemy: we project onto life everything we are – the gold and the lead – and life dutifully becomes that face. In marriage the alchemy really starts when we say “I do” in front of God, our family and the world – that is why just living together doesn’t work the same way. When we marry we know (at least at some level) that we are the wolf in the oven; we are trapped and that is by our own design. Marriage makes us aware that we can’t walk away (so easily anyway). In life, we can’t walk away either – not really. When we try it, our projections show up in spades right around the next corner. So, married or not, our relationships and lives can profit from the same basic ground rules we use for marriage:
All this may seem to be about how to treat the world and others, but it is really about ourselves because when we follow the way of love we are actually healing within us whatever is in the way of love. So in marriage, we start with love, we cultivate it, attend to it and continuously nourish its growth, because that is the essential power and inspiration we need to work out all the rest.
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2 Comments
Timothy R Prout
12/10/2019 09:04:38 am
Thank you Ann for this wonderful gift. This is really special and so powerful!
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Ann
12/10/2019 10:17:14 am
Thank you, Timothy! So glad this is useful to you ~
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We may at first have thought consciousness was in the mind, or even thought it was the mind itself. That it was somehow part of our domain; our personal interface with life or our go-to source of thinking and reason.
Exploring the mind however, we discover it is not consciousness that is personal, but the mind. We discover the mind is limited and finite and that we can go beyond it — to consciousness itself. Even as a new explorer, we are aware of something here vast and whole, an infinite peace, potent and complete. And we know — as if remembering — that this is also the intrinsic, intimate truth of ourselves.
Welcome!
This is a blog for those who travel an inner path, seeking truth, beauty and the source of being.
Here are ideas and practices to help and encourage the traveler, and to address the obstacles that we, as students of consciousness, inevitably encounter. Everything you find here you can do at anytime and take as far as you want.
This is a blog for those who travel an inner path, seeking truth, beauty and the source of being.
Here are ideas and practices to help and encourage the traveler, and to address the obstacles that we, as students of consciousness, inevitably encounter. Everything you find here you can do at anytime and take as far as you want.
I invite you to use Paradigm Practice as a foundation for your practice, which you may find here, free and available for your use. Paradigm Practice is a powerful guide for bridging the gap between limitation and new awareness. Awakening into the happiness and peace of your true nature benefits all the world. May you be blessed on your journey!
Ann |
Consciousness is the ultimate teacher: it is always showing us what we are.
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