Every step on the inner path, however seemingly small, Ann K Gryczan Hello again and welcome to the third and final installment of The Road to Happiness! In the last post we left off with the ego’s secret – the bottom-line dynamic we called ‘Me versus God.’ To be up to speed, be sure to read parts One and Two for context and to know how we arrived at the current assumptions. In the last post also, I suggested, when encountering traffic, that you practice extending (through generosity, awareness and allowance) – rather than contracting (through self- preservation and gratification). Not that there is anything wrong with those things; they just don’t work for happiness! How did it go? Notice anything? Traffic is Really a Workshop Life often feels like traffic – forcing us to make detours and blocking our way. Yet, in regular life the situations we encounter can seem so encompassing and complicated we can’t get our heads around them. We can’t figure out what the real problem is or how to solve it. But can anything be more clear than giant chunks of metal and plastic literally blocking us from getting what we want and need? This is obviously a workshop set up for our own personal growth and edification. So let’s do it. Let’s take this workshop! The Premise We are working with the problem of traffic. And how do we know that traffic is a problem? Because of our experience In Here: we’re not happy! We feel angry and worried about being stuck and not getting to where we are trying to go. Out There is not allowing us to proceed, it is blocking our way. Out There is not what we want. First Step We start by asking ourselves: Why is this a problem? This question helps us to realize something fundamental about the ego/mind (with which we are often often aligned). It thinks: I should have what I want when I want it. This brings up the next question: Why is that? Why should we have what we want when we want it? This is where we find the ego playing Me versus God. In this game, the winner gets to be God (what the ego/mind thinks it is anyway). What are we doing playing this game? We are identifying with the ego/mind, the source of illusion and unhappiness. The King of Nowhere The ego is like the king of a tiny island in the middle of the infinite sea of consciousness. The king knows the vulnerability of his position! He must be constantly on guard to keep his island from eroding or being swept away. Because without a kingdom, what is he? But the king also knows, deep down, that his kingdom is really only a tiny speck inside the whole of infinity and when this island gets swept away it will be as though it never existed. This is what the king is always trying to prevent. Proving his continued existence is paramount: he is always making sure he is on top and that he is always someone. He takes credit for everything, he knows everything already, he secretly controls the world, he knows why everything happens and he always wins. Even if he loses he wins because a ‘loser’ is still someone and as long as the king is someone he is still viable, he still exists and he is holding his own against the sea of infinity. Normally, we don’t notice how the ego/mind is the king of the world, how it controls everything and how it is always on top – we just take it for granted. It is only when the world seems out of control that we get alarmed. When things like traffic happen the ego can go berserk because it becomes obvious that it has lost control of the world. To the ego/mind this cannot happen. Changing the World The ego/mind is always trying to change the world. But it is not control that changes the world; this is what the ego/mind can never get. The way to change the world Out There is to rearrange what we have going on In Here. Remember in the last post how it seemed like In Here was a result of Out There, but really they were simultaneous? That is what we will keep in mind as we proceed. The way to rearrange In Here is to realize we are not the ego/mind – the vulnerable king always fighting to prove his existence. As long as we are in that fight, we will feel unhappy and Out There will seem like a fight too. The way to rearrange In Here is to realize we can make different choices. We can stop playing Me versus God. At an emotional level, this might feel like being on a tiny island in danger of being washed away. As students of consciousness, this is when we can say: Yes. We can say Yes to being washed away. Why do we keep clinging to this tiny island anyway? This question brings up all our good reasons! We will drown otherwise, we will be nothing, we won’t have anything to call our own, we will lose our identity and then who will we be? Fortunately, traffic is really just a workshop so we can use it to find out – it is the perfect place to practice. Let’s see what happens when we willingly relinquish being on top (which is to say, willingly relinquish our existence) and open ourselves to the sea of life. The Exit To Happiness Here is how: we can say to ourselves: I will let go of my opinion that you should use your turn signal. I will still think well of you. I will wait and see what you do and how things are. I surrender, and if that means I have no control, I am not what I thought, I no longer exist, so be it. Or, we can say: I am willing to lose – my space, my place, my position. If we’re in luck, this will bring up the ego’s fear of losing out. It will bring up the rage. Whatever reasons the ego has for not forgiving someone or letting them in, the real reason is its fear of losing the competition with God, and therefore, existence. So even if there are a zillion reasons not to let someone in (and the real reason underneath), try it anyway. You Did It The person whose car you just let in waves to you in shocked gratitude and maybe you can even manage a weak nod in return. Try it again. Be allowing. Forgive. Extend instead of contract. When the traffic is jammed up, the cars backed all the way up the street and you have to get to work or an appointment, desiring the benefit of others or surrendering your position seems exactly like the wrong thing to do. But you will see! Traffic really is the perfect, no-risk place to test out losing the contest with God, and even losing existence. As you practice letting go, you can even feel the traffic coinciding with the inner state. Here you are, stuck behind a long line of cars, you let someone in and the cars move. Amazing. But you can’t just go through the motions to get this result (although that’s a good start!). You have to mean it. You have to let go of striving or trying to get ahead. You have to sincerely want to make things better for everyone. That is the shift In Here: be willing to walk into the ego’s fear. Be willing to lose. Let your kingdom be washed away and let life have you – and life is where the happiness is. But You Still Have to Get to Work Here is the amazing thing about traffic: we get where we need to go faster by being with the traffic than by fighting it. This works in life too. Obviously, you have to leave enough time to get somewhere – the ego loves limitation and tries to create it wherever it can just so it can pick a fight with God. So give yourself enough time and then when you get stuck in traffic, practice extending instead of contracting. Do You Still Exist? The car we just let in has a bumper sticker that says: Do You Still Exist? Yes. How do we know this? Because every time we walk into the ego’s fear of nonexistence we find our footing on a deeper ground; a true ground of being, something essential within us that feels like home. We feel secure, maybe for the first time. Even if our new awareness is only slight, we realize: This is where the happiness is – it was here all along awaiting our return. We know: The thinking, emoting ball of perception, so insecure and without substance, always fighting to stay relevant, is not who I am at all. We remember: Here I am, the One I forgot and have been seeking ever since. And so, you see? Traffic really is the road to happiness. Where else can you realize a truer, deeper self five time just on your way to work! The Road to Happiness Now we let others in – in all kinds of situations, not just traffic – and receive their happiness and gratitude in return. Or, we get their disgruntled resentment and sense of entitlement. Either way is fine with us because we are on the road to happiness. How is it going with the traffic project? Did you encounter anything interesting (maddening, gratifying, confusing, illuminating…)?
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We may at first have thought consciousness was in the mind, or even thought it was the mind itself. That it was somehow part of our domain; our personal interface with life or our go-to source of thinking and reason.
Exploring the mind however, we discover it is not consciousness that is personal, but the mind. We discover the mind is limited and finite and that we can go beyond it — to consciousness itself. Even as a new explorer, we are aware of something here vast and whole, an infinite peace, potent and complete. And we know — as if remembering — that this is also the intrinsic, intimate truth of ourselves.
Welcome!
This is a blog for those who travel an inner path, seeking truth, beauty and the source of being.
Here are ideas and practices to help and encourage the traveler, and to address the obstacles that we, as students of consciousness, inevitably encounter. Everything you find here you can do at anytime and take as far as you want.
This is a blog for those who travel an inner path, seeking truth, beauty and the source of being.
Here are ideas and practices to help and encourage the traveler, and to address the obstacles that we, as students of consciousness, inevitably encounter. Everything you find here you can do at anytime and take as far as you want.
I invite you to use Paradigm Practice as a foundation for your practice, which you may find here, free and available for your use. Paradigm Practice is a powerful guide for bridging the gap between limitation and new awareness. Awakening into the happiness and peace of your true nature benefits all the world. May you be blessed on your journey!
Ann |
Consciousness is the ultimate teacher: it is always showing us what we are.
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